Week Two Observations

[A random list of observations, per my goal to document the journey as I transition away from my traditional corporate life to a new kind of life that I'm making up as I go along.]

I am feeling like I've been away from work for months. I can't believe it's only the end of Week Two. Work is already starting to feel like a different life that's miles and miles from where I am right now. I am not sure what to make of that feeling. On the one hand it's a tiny bit scary (will I be able to get back to that "work place" if I want to?) On the other hand perhaps it's a good sign that I'm settling in, and on the right track.

I am much busier than I thought I would be. Many stay-at-home moms told me I would feel busy but I didn't believe them. (How could it possibly be true, when I'm giving up an activity that took 50+ hours of my waking hours?) I am starting to believe them now. I'm finding that if I try to plan one scheduled activity per day (an art date with a friend, a hike with my sister, lunch with dad, etc.) plus a workout, I'm really done for the day. The remaining spaces between activities are too small for any project that requires momentum, and suddenly it's 2:45 and time to hit the carpool pickup line. And once the kids are home, it's really all about them until they go to bed (and it really should be... isn't that one of the main points of this experiment I'm running?)

I am noticing how much more physically active this life is than my last one. I am not sure I fully realized it, but my work life was quite sedentary. Walking between conference rooms every hour really wasn't much of a workout. Two weeks into my new life, I feel a tired ache in my body. It's the mild, good kind of ache. The kind that tells me I've been active, doing stuff, and getting some exercise. Some of it's very deliberate: trips to the exercise studio; going for a run. Some of it is a function of time and the fact that I'm not so rushed anymore: I am now walking (vs driving) to the pool for swimming lessons; and biking (vs driving) to the mall for new shoes. And some of it seems to simply be a function of my new life: I'm meeting a friend for a walk (instead of drinks after work), standing at my kitchen counter to check email (instead of sitting at a desk), and just being out and about more (instead of going in a circle from work to home and back again). It feels good.

I am listening more to my heart. Or trying to anyway. I've never been very good at that when it comes to making decisions. I am usually the one doing what "makes sense" or what I "should" do. While I've always been a strong "feeler," when it comes to decision time, my head rules my heart. I'm making a big effort to let my heart play a bigger role. I felt a tiny shift in that direction this week. That feels scary, (irresponsible even?), but it also feels like progress.

1 comment:

  1. I love the way you think about things and analyze your feelings -- you are growing more than you realize, I bet. Mom